Heene parents receive jail time for balloon boy stunt. At least they only pretended to put the kid in the balloon.

David Hasslehoff, DUI, Dad Under Influence.

Judge issues restraining order to protect Frances Bean from Courtney Love.

“Don’t buy THAT juice,” DC, aged 8, pleaded.

“Oh man, the pancakes aren’t ANIMAL pancakes?” she actually says during the same week.

OMG- small person sure to soon demand 300 thread count sheets!

Juice comes from oranges that have orangey things like pulp.   Drink it.

Pancakes typically circular. Eat them.

Fortunately, after I took a week off to process my layoff, I was only out of work for five weeks.

I drank my own Kool-aid.

• Start with a twist of the ego

• Add a 1/2 cup of rest and relaxation

• Splash on gratitude, non-material HAVES

• Garnish with laughter from supportive, positive family and friends

• Stir in some pro-bono consulting, keep your mind sharp

• Serve up your best self to connected colleagues

Only Children need to represent(!) and fast before Nadya Suleman becomes their spokesperson. In “The Birth Order Connection”, Dr. Kevin Leman describes the negative aspects to being in a relationship with an only child.

“Only borns live with a staunch sense of entitlement. If you marry an only child, keep in mind that you’re marrying someone who has never had to share toys with siblings, compete for attention with his/her parents and always had center stage…This is a person who is used to getting her own way.”

Yet Suleman’s description of her childhood (Mirror Interview ) as powerless with a lack of control of her own environment is contrary to the self-centered boldness to which Lehman alludes. He argues that “the best way to describe only children is to take a first born and multiply him by two. First borns are natural leaders. They represent United States Presidents (including the current one), astronauts, and CEOs by overwhelming numbers. They frequently live with a sense of entitlement and superiority.”

And, we’re supposed to double that birth order wiring for Suleman? She lives on food stamps with six children in an unkempt home and, instead of using her disability payment from a lawsuit to further her education or MOVE OUT, funds eight additional children via IVF with no means of supporting them.

Maybe she watched to much “Brady Bunch” but even fans of the series know that only on TV would six kids in the suburbs share one bathroom.

Since Suleman sees herself as a martyrly Madonna suffering for her beliefs, she may get a chance to ’splain herself. Soon, her home is gong to stink to high heaven.

A total of 36 children have been dropped off in Nebraska and I predict that when they turn 18, they’re coming after their parents, Stephen King style.

Many of the stories are heartbreaking. For parents without insurance, the options for dealing with difficult or emotionally disturbed children must be overwhelming. Unfortunately, while the media is great at publicizing the problem, I haven’t seen a lot of sites offering resources for a solution. Here are just a couple. Please email me at (katie at barelysaneparent.com) with any others and I’ll add them.

• Boys Town 24-Hour Free Hotline 1-800-448-3000
• Covenant House 9-Line for Teens in Crisis - 1-800-999-9999

These guys represent a mis-managed, backward thinking industry. The fact that Rick Wagoner of GM, Alan Mulally of Ford, and Robert Nardelli of Chrysler are so clueless as to fly private jets into D.C. to ask for a billion dollar bailout redefines gall.

Detroit killed the electric car while waterboarding SUV’s down consumer throats and now it’s time to say goodbye. Let them go bankrupt and offer packages and retraining to auto-workers.

Did we bail out the typewriter industry when computers were emerging? What about Kodak and Fuji Film drowning in the wake of digital cameras?

The greening of America is snowballing and not even a Hummer can stop it. Consumers don’t want the melting of the polar ice caps on our conscience. Still, if our government decides to contribute money, I hope they’ll ask Google or Apple to manage the reshaping and rebranding of the American Car. I’d drive a gas-Googler any day.

“Hey Mom and Dad, I’m not a wussy desk-job girl!”

Part resolution and part contribution, my sister Andrea and I ran a hilly 5K in Calabasas, Calif. today to recognize our friend Travis D. and his family as they fight T’s stomach cancer. Mark drove DC up later in the morning and she participated in her first mile run with me. Mark was our photographer!

After some really major surgery on the 28th, T. is going through six weeks of chemo and possibly radiation. Because of this treatment, he is currently unable to work as an actor and the family is raising funds via the Talbert Family Foundation, who hosted the race today.

T’s family does have insurance via SAG; however, he is juggling co-pays and a gap in income. All donations are tax-deductible. Please see their web site and help spread the word.

Thank you!

Self tips to reclaim weekend:

1. Stay off the phone.
2. Exercise.
3. Limit lessons. OK, easy for me to say as I forgot to sign my daughter up for soccer.
4. Meditate.
5. Treat myself.
6. Try to only commit to ONE event per day or weekend.