(Photo credit: collegecandy.com)

Sometimes my news intake consists of NPR during my commute and a glance at the headlines during the day at Yahoo.com. In late May I saw two headlines stacked on top of each other:

1. 100,000 people suspected dead in Myanmar cyclone

2. Conservative group raised over 2M dollars to overturn gay marriage in California

Let’s get our priorities in the right place. As Americans we have power to raise money for any cause yet a group of self-righteous jingoistic individuals places a higher priority on stopping California men and women from loving someone of the same sex than helping starving and homeless families in Burma or China.

Help gay Californians keep their right to be married by contributing to Equality California.

Assist the efforts to rescue homeless families around the world by contributing to the Red Cross or Shelterbox.

Every day I read about the violent deaths of U.S. soldiers and civilians in Iraq. Approximately 4,300 coalition members have died in Iraq including 174 Britons. Some estimates list the number of Iraqis who have died at 80,000.

All this blood shed in the name of democracy and Britain can’t even allow a work permit for Nashat Akram, 24, a young Iraqi hero to play for Manchester City Football Club? (Full Story: LATimes)

Sports bring us together and Britain should allow Akram to play for Manchester. I’m angry and ready to accompany an international team of ball-kicking envoys to help get this kid to play. I recommend the UFC’s Mirko Cro-cop to bust through the door to get everyone’s attention and then Madeleine Albright and Tony Blair can smooth out the situation over high tea. Let’s get the Brits to TapOut.

It’s been six months since I made the move from a mid-sized ad agency to a software company.   My skill set crosses departments so I get to mix it up– sometimes I’m focused on detailed training plans, other times I attend client meetings or even set up calls with sales. Save the Drama for Your Mama, I like working with Geeks.

During the interview process our company mentioned the magic words that one only reads about in MSN or Yahoo articles, “life-work balance.” Whether it’s training for a triathalon, composing music or playing in a band, our people work hard but live life, too. Some people even write blogs, now they are the true Geeks ;).

For those of us prone to apoplectic goal-setting benders, New Year’s is like a latte. We know we can do without it but we’re sucked in by the taste and caffeine kick.

Once again I’m laying out the red carpet ressies to my hubbie. It is hard to limit myself to three:

• Going to run 5K
• Start Spanish lessons for myself and the kiddo
• Get organized

Mark was surprised about the 5K as — typical Leo — I’ve only run a mile on the TREADMILL twice and I’m picturing myself going over the finish line seeing supportive family on sidelines with “Go Katie” poster. My daughter hugging my neck and Mark giving me congratulatory kiss.

But, although I’ve run a 5K a loooonnnnnng time ago, I want to do it again. But, running outside means subjecting myself to sweat, sunscreen burning my eyes and the fear of wearing shorts in public.

Technically, it’s not 2008 yet so I still have about 24 hours to lighten up on the juice. For example, why not simply pledge to:

• Vote
• Get more sleep
• Cook dinner on occasion

This means I’m taking on six (6) resolutions. If I can only stick to these and NOT add more.

Gimme another latte and I’ll think about it.

I don’t get it. Conservatives are afraid of Hillary Clinton yet so are left-leaning liberals.

I remember my uncle, an elite attorney in D.C., telling me that when he walked down the halls of his government office that people feared him. He was proud of that. If people fear you, isn’t that power? It’s much better than being laughed at.

Recently Christian members of my family forwarded an inspirational “joke” email to me with scenes of serene waterfalls, statements about how beautiful life is and how holding Hillary’s head under the water would complete a perfect picture.  Harsh. And, my left-leaning friends think she’s practically a Bush-Lite.

I’m undecided as a voter but absolutely fascinated by the Hillary hate spin. Most lefties and righties probably don’t know the following about Hill:

• She was president of the Young Republicans in college
• She’s part of a secret Congresional Bible Study called Fellowship
• She described herself in college as a “mind conservative with the heart of a liberal”

I like anyone who’s going to challenge the establishment and bring in new ideas. She seems like someone who could unite both sides. I’m still blown away that she had to forgive infidelity on the most public stage in the world and I guess forgiveness is threatening. Almost makes me want to– hold her head under the water???

1. Before meeting family for lunch at Orzo on W. 3rd, I straightened up my car for the valet. Like he’s going to whisper to my in-laws that I’m driving my purse, or something.
2. Double booking myself twice in one week. My personality is definitely splitting and so are brain cells.
3. Forgetting to pick up the kid. Fooled you… this has never happened. Not yet, anyway.
4. Leaving my purse at a restaurant. Thought the walk to the car felt unusually light after lunch.
5. My home is in chaos. The cleaning lady got a better job, the printer connected to the airport element doesn’t print, the dishwasher is ashy and we’re washing by hand and the ceiling fan in the bedroom just stopped working and the nights have been sweaty and sticky in all the not-so-great ways.

Will I take a break soon? Will my child defect to her friends’ more manicured homes? Will my husband just throw the dishes out the window one night instead of washing them?

Stay Tuned.

I have stronger footing parenting my own child but often feel shaky with my 20-year-old stepson. I love him, I adore him and I’ve learned so much from living with him and seeing him move out on his own– albeit, often times not voluntarily.

I think his relationship with his Dad, my hubbie Mark is actually a bit better because they do not live together anymore. That said there is a lot of anger and resentment that goes way back and it seems like although the details are different, they argue about the same thing over and over again. Each doesn’t feel appreciated. They are both stubborn. When I listen to both cases, they each sound right to me and my loyalties get all tangled. I feel if I try to help hubbie Mark understand B’s point of view and describe some points he makes that I’m revealing some things that I shouldn’t and vice versa.

I try to stay positive as much as possible.

I talked it over with my mother-in-law and she and I both realize that our guys are never going to have a Hallmark card relationship. But, if they can show up at family events and be on their best behavior. Polite, kind– no malicious comments allowed– then we can at least have our blended family together without a food fight.

Last week I flat out lied to Claire.

We lie all the time to our kids…Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. If our children are tone deaf and want to be on “American Idol,” we tell them if they believe in themselves they can be standing next to Ryan Seacrest. These type of conveyor belt lies keep everything rolling as it should.

Then there are the wood chopper lies– the ones that cut yourself down in the process. Feeling a bit shorter this week, I confess that last week Claire missed her last two swim lessons. On Tuesday December 5 I was running late from the office and decided to just be honest. After all, kids need to realize that not everything can go their way all the time. Plans change sometimes, right? So, when signing her out at 6pm (just made the cut off) I tell her that we not going to be able to make swim lessons, it’s my fault and I’m sorry.

As I’m telling her this I’m aware that I’m not sure she even remembered that we had lessons tonight but because I’ve decided to be honest, she painfully recalls looking forward to swimming. She throws herself in a heap on the floor and begins to cry.

“You HAVE to take me to lessons. I HAVE to be there. All the other kids are starting to learn the butterfly and they’ll be ahead of me. I HAVE to go, Mom.”

I again, explain in rational adult terms grasping for lyrics… you know Claire, you can’t always get what you want.

“But I HAVE to go. Mom, you’re ruining my life.” I wanted to point out that at 5 1/2 that isn’t saying much but I thankfully kept my mouth shut. Everyone in the PTO meeting in the next room probably thought I was hitting her with a rubber mallet. Later that night, I relax about it all. After all, there’s always the Thursday class.

Thursday, December 7

You know what’s coming, I don’t make it to the swim lesson on this day either. This is the day my boss is in San Francisco and I’m in charge. People are watching to to see how I handle issues and we had a big one. If I ever want to show that I can handle running the department this is the time.

So, I have a choice. I leave in at 5pm when one of our producer’s has a crisis and my kid has no idea that I’m put myself in jeapardy for her and she has a nice happy lesson and I snap at her later in resentment. Or, I accept the fact that I said I would be the backup person at the office and step up.

Keep my word to my kid or be the hero at the office?

This time I chose the office. So, how to tell her? After having experienced Claire’s meltdown at the truth on Tuesday there was no way in hell I was going to do that again.

//CHOP//

—-Tell her the lessons were canceled. I’m Brilliant!—-

//GUILT//

—-But, that’s a real big lie. If you tell that lie, where will it end, woman?—-

I call Mark. He didn’t have a problem with it at all. I love this man, I love this man!

“Don’t worry about it, honey. You’re making too big a deal out of this. It’s one swim lesson once in her life. Really, don’t worry about it. I’ll pick her up, it will be fine.”

—-But it’s her LAST swim lesson of the year. Her last lesson as a FIVE YEAR OLD.—-

“Babe, let it go. Call me when you’re on the way home.”

Relieved, I went to the emergency 5 pm meeting and helped trouble shoot the technical issues and was thanked by my boss’ boss for staying. I think I got out of there about 8pm with a call from Mark.

“Honey, it’s time to leave now. Get a move on… chop- chop!”

Feeling a bit like peanutbutter spread out on a slice of bread. I’ve dedicated this Sunday to many hours devoted to me. I have several scenes mapped out:

• Me lying in bed sleeping or reading.
• Writing up my next freelance pitch.
• There I am on the phone talking to my sister.
• Talking to Melanie about the pitch and her forthcoming birthday. Is she going to have a baby soon?
• Go me. Walk on the beach!
• Attending church?!

Just think, then maybe balanced me can find some things that are lost.

I’m lovin’ today’s NY Times article by Lisa Belkin on house cleaning and couple-dom.

Some interesting stats from her article:

• Married women spend twice as much time on housework than husbands.
• Single women spend twice as much time as single men.
• “Women are attuned to the unseen audience, a man can sit in wacthing TV with newspapers scattered everywhere and food all over and they just don’t care. They can do it later. We women have the sense that someone’s watching us. We need those newspapers picked up because what would people think?”

–Caitlin Flanagan, “To Hell with All That: Loving and Loathing our Inner Housewife”

• Employed mothers sleep an average of 3.6 fewer hours a week than those who are not employed. (That’s 187 hours a year!)

• Many women are guilty of what sociologists call “gate keeping”: building a fence around a territory, be it vacuuming or child care or grocery shopping and defending it as theirs. They set the standards in that realm, and they set them high. Sometimes unrealistically so.
• “From a man’s point of view, men feel like they’re often accused of not caring, but then, if they try to do something they are told that they’re not doing it right….their wives say, ‘Clean this up I want this clean’ but then they’re scolded because they don’t clean it right. There’s no right or wrong. men shouldn’t have to meet your specified standards for housework.”

–Neil Chethik, “VoiceMales: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework and Commitment”

Women, we all need to chill. We do not live with our mothers any more. Leave the dishes, have a martini, go to bed and have some sex or get some sleep. Let the housekeeper clean the house.