Fortunately, after I took a week off to process my layoff, I was only out of work for five weeks.
I drank my own Kool-aid.
I’m the Queen of “succeeding as a working parent is keeping your kids on the DL”—not a lot of doctor’s appointments, photos, etc. It’s OK to bring your dog to work but your kid- no way! This way people treat working women like bosses, co-workers and NOT like Moms.
My philosophy was completely shot to hell late last month as, in between camp ending and school starting, my childcare fell through! My husband saved the day and invited DC to his office at Raymond James to buy and sell stocks.
DC pleaded and cried not to go. She actually said, “Mom, I like investing but kids needs their moms!”
I explained that she would need to be up at 5:30am and that she basically would have to sit at a desk and make a Bon Voyage card for my co-worker and not talk to anyone. If she went to a meeting- SILENCE.
Sure enough the next morning she tapped me on my arm fully dressed and ready for Starbucks at 5:30am. At the office she:
As I put her backpack full of stuffed animals, crayons, construction paper and homemade books into my sister’s car around 3pm and watched my little assistant drive off, I almost got a little tear.
I would do anything for her… even lose my cool cred at the office.
Tips for Working Parents to Get Promoted
Second day on the job– a developer and I have to deliver some difficult news.
We get them on the phone:
Me: “Hi– I’m afraid that I’ve got an issue to report and some ways that we want to address it.”
Client: OK (gulp!)
Me: Unfortunately while reviewing your HTML, we discovered some inconsistencies…– uh— uh, (at this moment I see a 3 inch cockroach crawling up my leg. I jump up, I do NOT scream and I swipe at the f*cker.)
Me: There’s literally a huge bug crawling up my leg and I’m trying to get it off. Uh, hold that thought. <My colleague and I yelp> (I try two and three times to get this thing off of my leg. Finally, fourth swipe and it gets on the floor.)
My colleague: (smacks with her notebook- several times, which does nothing to the roach)
Me: (take off shoe- smackdown with heel- dead. Finally. IT guy comes in room after hearing screams. He (thank God) removes the body and our call resumes with client feeling really sorry for me at this point.
HR follows up on any residual trauma and pest control comes the end of the week.
I’m digging the gig but there were definitely some bugs at first. Crazy!
I’ve never been this excited about starting a new job. I’m leaving the agency world and going to the product side. So, now I help streamline production processes that help other companies build and maintain their own sites. It’s rewarding and once again, I’m taking a position that will increase my technical skills.
I working with a group of smart, cool CALM professionals. I prefer smaller, privately held companies because I feel more challenged and have a greater impact.
I negotiated my start date and have two blissful weeks vacation. I’ve worked out three times in one week!
1. Layoffs
After surviving several rounds of “letting people go,” I’m one of the few people left at my agency. The creative director is freelancing from home and the only IT guy just accepted another job.
2. People Looking at Our Office Space
In the middle of conference calls in my office, the HR guy walks by showing clients our office space.
3. There’s No More Water
Literally, the water cooler bottles are empty and are not going to be refilled. We were all parched for days before we realized this.
Thank God for sick kids child care. My first meeting with a big client was on Friday and Claire relapsed once again. I really needed to be at the office and Claire wasn’t that bad off– fever of 100.4 — and, she likes the facility in the hospital because she gets to watch TV and play with toys.
In the past when I’ve dropped her off with the nurses, I never made it past the door without crying.
What am I doing? My kid needs me and I drop her off with a fever and go to a client meeting?!
In the car with tissue mopping up mascara, I coach myself on remembering the big picture.
It’s unlikely she’ll remember this one day. I’ll just pepper the remainder of the year with a couple Disney trips and the Princesses will erase everything else from her memory with a wave of their wands. Or, I could always pump up the Claritin and try hypnoses.
I’m leaving her in a secure facility with nurses as her babysitters. If there’s a problem then she’s in a hospital for God’s sake! And, her super Dad ended up driving down and picking her up after only three hours, taking her to the doctor and then taking her to his home for the weekend. God Bless my former hubbie and co-parent.
Ask Your School or Daycare who Offers Sick Kids Childcare
Many schools and pre-schools have a list of facilities that accept kids with a fever or sore throat. These places are like gold. You might need to pre-register and then reserve a spot. Add big points to your mom-card if you send or Email a thank you note with an update on your kiddo.
Unlike the Friday night Happy Hour, everyone likes working parents to attend the Holiday Party. We might not show as much leg or cleavage or sing “Santa Baby” while sitting in the boss’ lap, but we’ll drive you home if you ask our spouses questions and don’t puke in the back of the BMW.
We know that no matter how hard our Non-Parent (NP) co-workers think their lives are — they’re simply rookies.
NP’s Believe:
A lot of my working women friends never even bring up the fact that they’re Moms to their co-workers. Just like the character Alison in How does she do it? they don’t put photos of family on their desk. When these incognito ‘rents have to be out for the kid, (spring break, dentist, doctor, ballet recital, etc) they sort of mumble a vague –”I’ve got an appointment” like drug dealers who “have to pick up a package.”
“To be different is to be dead,” my friend Jennifer says. Co-workers without kids have no idea what you do and they don’t want to know, period.”
Unlike Jenn, I let my people in to an extent. There are days when I look tired or I’m running late and I have to leave a voice mail as a courtesy. I don’t complain– I try to be honest, funny, VAGUE and reassuring that the work will get completed:
Hello, (younger boss with no kids), I hope you’re day is splendid. Unfortunately, I really need a morning do-over as I’m running a bit behind schedule. I will definitely have the comps on your desk by noon. See you soon.
© 2007 Frankle Productions. All Rights Resereved. 
