If you’re feeling bad about checking email from the Santa line, remember these finer American parenting moments.
Heene parents receive jail time for balloon boy stunt. At least they only pretended to put the kid in the balloon.
David Hasslehoff, DUI, Dad Under Influence.
Judge issues restraining order to protect Frances Bean from Courtney Love.
Only Children need to represent(!) and fast before Nadya Suleman becomes their spokesperson. In “The Birth Order Connection”, Dr. Kevin Leman describes the negative aspects to being in a relationship with an only child.
“Only borns live with a staunch sense of entitlement. If you marry an only child, keep in mind that you’re marrying someone who has never had to share toys with siblings, compete for attention with his/her parents and always had center stage…This is a person who is used to getting her own way.”
Yet Suleman’s description of her childhood (Mirror Interview ) as powerless with a lack of control of her own environment is contrary to the self-centered boldness to which Lehman alludes. He argues that “the best way to describe only children is to take a first born and multiply him by two. First borns are natural leaders. They represent United States Presidents (including the current one), astronauts, and CEOs by overwhelming numbers. They frequently live with a sense of entitlement and superiority.”
And, we’re supposed to double that birth order wiring for Suleman? She lives on food stamps with six children in an unkempt home and, instead of using her disability payment from a lawsuit to further her education or MOVE OUT, funds eight additional children via IVF with no means of supporting them.
Maybe she watched to much “Brady Bunch” but even fans of the series know that only on TV would six kids in the suburbs share one bathroom.
Since Suleman sees herself as a martyrly Madonna suffering for her beliefs, she may get a chance to ’splain herself. Soon, her home is gong to stink to high heaven.
A 14-year-old boy from California became the last child under LB 157, the state law that designed Nebraska hospitals, police and fire departments as safe havens. On November 21, 2008 the legislature passed LB 1, which limits the age of a child, who a person can drop off at a hospital and not be prosecuted, to the age of 30 days or younger.
A total of 36 children have been dropped off in Nebraska and I predict that when they turn 18, they’re coming after their parents, Stephen King style.
Many of the stories are heartbreaking. For parents without insurance, the options for dealing with difficult or emotionally disturbed children must be overwhelming. Unfortunately, while the media is great at publicizing the problem, I haven’t seen a lot of sites offering resources for a solution. Here are just a couple. Please email me at (katie at barelysaneparent.com) with any others and I’ll add them.
As I’m getting ready to schlep my kid to yet ANOTHER structured camp, robbing her of a stay-at-home Mom’s summer of swimming, activities and sleeping in, these five words go down smoother than bio-diesel in a Volvo conversion car: Colin Farrel is a Parent.
Once again a celebrity parent helping us all in the real world feel better about ourselves. At least we bathe every day…well, unless we work from home.
The ego gets outed. Great timing for all working parents. Just as we’re feeling like shit because even summer school is closed for the summer and we’ve put our kids in some random camp run by Teenagers so that we can continue to work, here comes toe-tapping Larry Craig hitting on a cop in a restroom.
Handing out his senatorial business card upon arrest at the Minn. St. Paul Airport, Larry “What do you think of that” Craig might be singing “Bend Over Sweet Chariot” in his now defunct Barbershop Senator Choir with Trent Lott and John Ashcroft he takes in the ass for this stupid stunt.
Another parent to make us crazy working folk look like stay-at-home moms having a corner bake sale on Saturday morning.
Admit it- you’ve said things to your kid that you’re not proud of perhaps things that haunted you for weeks. But, would you leave it on a voice mail? Come on. This divorce and its residual tremors in the public eye make a broken lamp thrown on the floor or an angry, random f*bomb dropped in traffic on the 405 look like a play date.
Once I told my child after reading several Madeleine books, that I would sell her to the gypsies in those books if she talked back to me again. Although no one was around to record my statement, she would play it back for me every time she sensed a misstep.
(clothes on floor)
Me: Claire, pick up those clothes right now or else the dog will eat your underwear again.
C: (panicked) Mom, I’ll do it right now just don’t sell my to the gypsies!
God, it took forever for me to live that one down. Imagine how long it will take for Alec. The thing is, there are always two sides to every story but it doesn’t really matter. By leaving that heart-breaking voice mail, he’s forfeited his side.
Photo Credit: Alec does his share of time for good causes and this one is cool– LivnOutLoud makes T’s with positive messages.
Although the “hand written” notes from fans at the newly redesigned Britney Spears site make me want to yank out her belly button ring with pliers, she’s one of my favorite parents.
Anyone who drives with her baby on her lap like he’s a chihuahua, shaves her head with tears streaming down her face and then walks into a tattoo parlor and enters rehab days later, makes me feel like Parent of the Year.
Parent Poster Child
Light a candle and hope that rehab rubs the wrong way.
Lisa Nowak, arrested on Feb. 5 disappeared from the headlines fast and she has Anna Nicole to thank! If Anna Nicole hadn’t mysteriously slipped into the pink celebrity netherworld stalked by ET, Nowak would have been the tabloid pin cushion.
Nowak’s backstory is sweet. She’s a gourmet cook and does crossword puzzles. She married her college sweetheart- she has a son and twin girls. TWINS! She worked full time and represented the U.S. elite as an astronaut.
Then, a bit of the bad girl started to surface in the last couple years. What a relief. Perfection is SO annoying. While I certainly do not condone attempted murder, you gotta admit this woman is driven. When she makes up her mind to do something- DAMN. I know that carrying a knife, rope and Mace while wearing Depends is not rational, but I say we all give this woman a break.
It doesn’t matter if you’re 14 or 40 when you fall for someone and they don’t choose you, it hurts.
>>Interesting Take on Nowak and Reverse Discrimination in the Media
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