Throw Out the List!
Watching my friends list characteristics of what they want in a mate makes me laugh because I did the same thing. According to scientists in “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell researching speed dating, men and women who approach the evening with a list end up completely discounting it at the end of the evening if they feel a real connection with someone.

Because of my Catholic upbringing and my parents’ tight marriage, I wrote on my list that I wanted to marry a Christian man. I married a Jewish man instead (what a great kisser and BIG BONUS- no guilt attached to sex!) There are professors married to high school drop-outs, rock stars married to librarians and so many marriages between different cultures that I’m sure as some point the global population will be the color of a Chai latte.

Here’s the Secret
Guys, stop dating women because you’re friends will think they’re hot. Girls, who cares if your guy drives a Honda. If your mates score high on the DACS SCALE then get ready for an honest-to-God happy relationship.

• Dependibility. When you cut your hand slicing a bagel will your mate drop what he or she is doing and get you the emergency room or do you have to call your Mom?
• Affability. Can you take said partner to a work-related event and trust him or her not to brood in the corner?
• Compatibility. The real test of love is taking out the trash, doing the dishes and sharing childcare duties. If you’re doing everything now, you’re going to be doing MORE once you’re married. Compatible libidos are critical, too!
• Stability. Consistent employment, friends who speak well on your partner’s behalf and a loving familial structure in childhood help ensure that said loved one is not going to bail on you during the rough patches.

Next time you’re choosing between a handsome dependable guy or girl and the hottie from the office down the hall, rate your date after a month or so using this scale and it could save you a lot of time. I’m not saying you can’t have both– I’ve got a hottie hubbie who scores high on DACS.

Get one and get happy.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 18th, 2007 at 12:10 am and is filed under Blended Family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.