Blended Family Wedding
My Second Wedding Day
I think that second marriages or marriages post-baby are appropriately summed up in the “Sex and the City” scene where Cynthia Nixon’s character Miranda has given birth and is getting ready to marry Steve, the father of her child. Miranda is looking for a wedding dress and the bridal attendant keeps bringing her different shades of white frilly dresses and she snaps– “I can’t wear this. I’ve had a kid and the jig is up!”
I realized that this was my dilemma when planning my second wedding and Mark’s (gasp!) third. We’ve already pledged our love in front of God and gathering of family and friends only to have it NOT work out. How do we properly acknowledge our very special day, while at the same time avoiding an inflated celebration of love and commitment that doesn’t exact not-so clandestine familial eye-rolls (awe, he’s pledging his love for life….AGAIN) during the middle of our vows?
The answer was simple– elope. Phew, there ya have it. Vegas, baby!
Then, as we talked about our elopement plans with Mark’s family, we soon realized that we should include our kids else they will add this to the list of things that they blame us for when things go wrong. Plus, they ARE really a big part of why we love each other and it would be special to recognize that.
Our friends Bill and Debbie Smith suggested their rooftop in Redondo Beach, which overlooks the Pacific Ocean and we were hooked. Here’s a rundown of the highlights:
- Claire was flower girl and wanted to wear pink so I did too.
- I wanted something to be a surprise so Mark did not see me in my dress before I walked up to the rooftop.
- Driving to the ceremony we told Brandon that Mark was going to have his gall bladder out in a week. Brandon asked what the chances are of Mark dying in the surgery and I’m thinking— great, this is going to be a great f’ing day.
- I wear waterproof eyeliner and mascara and Mark is the one who cries.
- It’s a crystal clear, Southern California perfect sky.
- I walk in to “Here Comes My Girl” by Tom Petty.
- We pledge our love, we give the kids their gifts, we hug, we kiss and Mark steps on the glass.
- Brandon makes a great toast to both of us and leaves out the death wish.
- The wedding party dine at McCormick and Schmicks, the restaurant where Brandon works as a host and we get free appetizers.
We both go to work the next day, which in hindsight was not the right thing to do but we only have a limited amount of “vacay” and need to use that for our wedding party and honeymoon.
Claire brought her bouquet to show her classmates and her teacher instructed Claire and me on how to preserve it by hanging it upside down. I politely thanked her then quietly explained to Claire outside the classroom that preserving flowers was a— craft and reminded her that I’m not the crafty Mom so she’ll just have to refer to the pictures.
“OK, mom. Can we ask my DAD to do it?”
